So as you are all aware, 2013 is coming to a close very soon (in less than 36 hours actually), so it's about the time to reflect on the year that has passed and look to 2014 with hope and excitement.
2013 has been a massive rollercoaster for me, as cheesy as that sounds. The start of the year was amazing, it started pretty average but went from strength to strength. I started to make really good friends at college, I opened up, I moved on from my ex-boyfriend (finally, only took two years) and took part in some amazing projects. Though around this time, I was generally happier I had a lot of stress about my weight. In the summer, I had a very mixed time. When I was still at college, there were two very stressful projects which had me extremely panicked, crying a lot and not able to sleep much. Once these projects got out of the way, I relaxed. We had smaller projects that were really laid back going on and as the sun finally started to come out, we all started to hang out at the new park which opened right across from college. We'd all go there during lunchtimes and after college, even a few weekends and just chill. I got to meet so many people from my college who I'd never spoken to before who are now my best friends. The actual summer holidays were a bit different though. It became hard to meet up with my friends because when I was on holiday none of them were and when I wasn't on holiday there were all over the place. My family went to Florida and though the holiday was incredible, me and my dad's relationship broke down. Coming back, I really struggled with depression and panic and eating because I had gained so much weight and I didn't have any friends around, so it became really difficult. I lost so much confidence I didn't even want to come back to college. College was actually a great cure. Though I found myself putting on a front most days because it was difficult, I've got a lot done and I've had a lot of time to think about myself, my limits, my boundaries and where I stand. Lately, I've been getting a lot better. I've found my circle of friends and I feel confident most times, though I still find it very hard to trust people and my weight issues hold me back. These issues and my panicking means I find it hard to know where I stand and feel confident in myself.
That brings me on to 2014, which is probably going to be the biggest year of my life, whether I like it or not. I leave college in May and so that means I'm being forced into adulthood. My goals for this year are...
1. Learn to trust people
2. Loose weight healthily
3. Find my feet
4. Pass my driving test
5. Blog at least twice a week
6. Take control of my panic and anxiety
7. Stop biting my nails
8. Take more photos
9. Grab life by the balls
Those are the major general ones, I have lists upon lists of specific events to do over the year but I won't bore you with that. I suppose the main thing is that this year I want to take control of my life, but be relaxed about it. When I'm driving, it's always best when I'm relaxed and able to manoeuvre where I'm going and make decisions without stressing. That's exactly what I want from life this year.
I hope you all have an amazing 2014 and I really wish you happiness and everything you want from this year. Just remember to relax, stick to your guns and have fun with it!
Much love,
Rosie
-x-
'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars'
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